The first silent night

Csekefalva, December 24, 1920.

A few weeks ago, I shared with you my greatest hope for this Christmas. The truth is that it’s the very same thing that I’ve been hoping for the past 5 years. Actually, for most of my life, I can remember. I was telling you about my wish to live here in peace on this small farm in Csekefalva together with my parents and brothers.

Recently, I realized that this is not only my hope. Most people I know around me are hoping for the same thing: peace. It’s the greatest wish of my family members, of the people from my village and from my country, and possibly of most people in the world. We have all longed for peace in our lives for so many years now. We longed for it every day, but even more so during Advent and especially on the night of Christmas.

In the past 5 years, the holly night hasn’t been peaceful and it hasn’t been silent. We would hear the noise of the war day and night. The world has been at war, the greatest war of all time. And the greatest war of all requires the greatest hope of all, the hope for peace.

My mother says that hope is good for helping you find the light even in the darkest of times and that hope can be a powerful force. There may not be real magic in it, but if you know what you hope for and keep it as a light within you, it can come true, almost like a miracle. I believe the more people hope for the same thing, the more likely it is to come true. I wonder how many of us wished for a silent night for Christmas this year, just like me. Will our wish ever come true?

I never heard the noise of war with my own ears. I never heard gunshots, bombs, screams, not even the sound of a bomb alert. We went on with our daily lives in this tiny village. But I would hear and read many stories about loss, grief, pain, fear, worry, uncertainty, and poverty. This inner noise of the war in our minds and hearts never ceased for one day in the past 5 years. I would see it on the faces of our relatives, friends, and neighbors who were waiting for their children, brothers, or fathers to return from war. I was a lucky one, but constantly worried if my father or my brothers were to leave would I ever see them again? The noise of my thoughts never ceased.

Yet, we went on with the same Christmas rituals every year, like always. We looked for joyful moments and we hoped to finally have a silent holly night again. We made a nice meal, baked my favorite poppy seed rolls, and also made Christmas fondant from sugar. We even had a Christmas tree every year, and we decorated it with nuts and fruits. We made small figurines from flour and water for a representation of the nativity in our home. Every year I would be in the nativity play of the church and afterward, we would attend the service with my family. I loved to sing and sang all the Christmas carols, though I wasn’t good at it. Actually, I was quite bad. Sometimes we even exchanged small gifts, but the greatest gifts of all were the letters received from the loved ones who were fighting in the war.

The Christmas of 1920 turned out to be different after all. After 5 years, our hopes have not been in vain. This year the peace treaty was signed marking the official end of the World War. My hope, everyone’s hope for peace has come true. Yet, it wasn’t a cheerful time. It took us a long time to actually believe it. We came to realize it gradually. At the same time, peace came at a high cost. There was a lot of loss we still had to mourn. But this was the first silent Christmas night in 6 years. There was peace and quiet in our minds and hearts. Practically, it was the first silent night that I can remember.

Klárika